Cleansing
by AmourXSexXetXYaoi
Summary: "Cleansing" verb : To make clean. To remove by or as if by cleaning. Puck scoffed, yeah whatever the hell that meant.


**Disclaimer and Spoilers: Set during senior year. Story canon up to the point where Shelby leaves. I don't own Glee, Grey's Anatomy, Harry Potter or Zombieland.**

**Author Note(s) at the end.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Cleansing <strong>

It was kind of cleansing. If Puck were really honest with himself, which he rarely is, he would say that it was more than a little cleansing. He might even say it was liberating but really who was ever truly honest with themselves? Not him.

As Puck looked around his clean room he couldn't help but feel a little bit proud of the amount of work he accomplished today. Corners that were once littered with magazines, video game boxes trash and the odd dust covered book were now empty. The wallpaper of his room had the occasional shadow of where his posters of Megan Fox and Carmen Electra were once taped t it posing in barely any clothing as they looked at him with sultry expressions. He looked down at his socked feet. Had his carpet always been brown? He was pretty sure it was green. Then again Puck couldn't actually remember the last time he saw his carpet. Usually there were shirts and socks, even some tissues laying around on the floor which ew that had been a little gross even for Puck.

He wasn't sure what made him want to clean his room since he never really cared how his room looked. Maybe it was his ma and her inquisition (See he did pay attention in History, take that ). As the months passed and the end of high school approached his ma hadn't stopped asking him questions about his plans. Was he going to college? Was he going to leave the state? Was he going to take the year off? ("Noah what are you going to do with your life?" "I don't know Ma but stop asking. Grey's Anatomy is on") At one point Puck couldn't take anymore of her questions so he'd left the house walking aimlessly around Lima until he ended up in front of the Hudmel house.

Maybe it was Sarah. She'd always been a nosy squirt and this morning wasn't any difference. After successfully avoiding his ma and her questions, he'd high tailed it out of the kitchen and to his room ready to play video games and avoid everything and anything but something stopped him from entering his room. He stood there for like five minutes staring at his room when he heard Sarah come up behind him.

"Your room is really messy Noah." She'd said, peeking into the room from his side. "It also stinks. You should really clean it."

Of course being her big brother he didn't take any orders from brats so he'd told her it wasn't any of her business and if she didn't go to her room he'd set fire to her beanie babies. That earned him a swift kick to the shins for that. He knew his ma should have never signed her up for those Karate classes. After rubbing his shin and muttering curses under his breath he went into his room intent on playing video games until he got bored and texted Finn or Artie but as he was playing he couldn't help but feel unsettled. Like something was trying to claw under his skin urging to do . . . _something._ After thirty minutes he gave up and dropped his controller onto the bed. So grumbling bitterly he'd shut off his Xbox and gone downstairs to the kitchen in search of black garbage bags.

So maybe it wasn't his ma or his sister. Maybe his Nana had been bribing him too many times into watching talk shows with her when he visited. She loved those shows that said shit like it was therapeutic and soul cleansing to burn the pictures of your exes and claimed that using coconut milk in recipes that required milk was healthier than using regular milk and better tasting which totally ended up being true (Okay yeah he enjoyed watching those talk shows too, kindly fuck off). Puck though had never felt the need to clean his room as thoroughly as he did today. Maybe every once in a while he'd pick up a shirt and sniff it and decide that no he definitely couldn't wear that on a date. The thing though was Puck hadn't even been on a date in a while. So it wasn't like Puck was expecting to take anyone up to his room anytime soon. It hadn't been his thing for a while now and after the whole Shelby and Quinn thing he kind of gave up on ever finding someone who would be with him while he was still stuck in Lima. He'd also been busy thinking, or rather not thinking about other things. Puck forced his mind to push those thoughts away. He wasn't going to be thinking about _them_ or anything close to _them. _They were dangerous thoughts that made his heart beat faster and his stomach squirm.

Giving one last look around and making sure he didn't forget anything before taking the bags downstairs to the trash he couldn't help but be a little surprised when he spotted something blue smothered between the leg of his desk and the wall and out of view. After a few tugs and curses the soft material was in his hand. Puck didn't need to study it for long before he remembered why he had it and where he'd gotten it from. His heart began to beat faster and harder against his chest as he remembered that day.

It was just after the shit with Kurofsky went down. It was barely a few days after Mrs. H and Mr. H's wedding. Everyone had been on a high from having fun at the wedding when Kurt walked into the choir room. Hands clutched tightly around his bag and looking like he was going to break in the next few seconds. Schue, even though he's an awesome dude is probably the most oblivious teacher ever, so he didn't notice the stiff way Kurt carried himself like the football team were gonna drag him from the choir room and dumpster dive him right then and didn't that make Puck wince. Looking back he wasn't sure what the hell made him throw someone into a dumpster. Sure he hadn't done that shit since sophomore year but it didn't stop him from flinching guiltily every time he walked past the dumpsters on his way to class. Maybe it was the way Kurt's face looked pale or maybe it was the slight trembling in his voice when he cut Schue off but something put Puck instantly on edge.

"I'm transferring to Dalton Academy. Immediately."

Puck felt like he'd been punched in the guts. His eyes widened in shock while the others leaned forward in their seats. All wearing the same expression of shock on their face. Before he knew it he was suggesting that the glee guys turned into some sort of secret service and form a perimeter around him. As the others tried to come up with arguments to stop him from leaving Kurt's eyes watered. Then he was gone. Finn and Mercedes called after him as silence filled the choir room. There was a stunned silence that immediately broke as Mercedes and Finn ran after Kurt closely followed by Rachel. Tina's sniffing broke Puck out of his numbed state. He got up, ignoring Artie's call as he left the room. He didn't know where he was going but he needed to get out of there.

The days after Kurt left felt wrong. The halls seemed more quiet. The loud girls who he called teammates and usually passed on his way to class were silent. The halls weren't filled with their normally loud and happy voices led by a distinguishable clear and high voice as they strutted by saying word like "Fashion Week" and "Spring line" that he couldn't even begin to comprehend.

Puck nearly ditched History class when he remembered who wouldn't be sitting in the desk in front of him. How he wouldn't be able to flick Kurt's ears and annoy the shit out of him until Kurt couldn't ignore him anymore and had to smack him away with a ruler just to get Puck to stop. When he went to the cafeteria, lunch in hand, he couldn't help but feel a little sick at the glaringly empty seat between Artie and Finn where Kurt used to sit trying not too look too disgusted or too amused when Puck told dirty jokes to Mike and Artie. Puck couldn't sit there and stare at the empty seat in front of him so he'd left the silent Gleek table ignoring the looks Artie and Quinn sent him.

He wasn't sure where his feet were taking him but he automatically recognized the locker in front of him when he stopped. It was the only locker in the hall that looked new. The green paint of the locker was still glossy compared to its neighbors whose paint was pealing off showing the rusted metal underneath. The rusted hinges of the locker and the number fifty seven gave away it's true appearance. Puck was sure that this locker had seen more layers of paint than any other locker in the school. Each new layer hid the hate underneath. Swallowing a rise of bile he opened the unlocked locker.

Puck wasn't expecting to find anything but he was surprised to still find some forgotten papers, a few pens and in the far back corner a blue scarf. Ignoring the scraps of paper and uncapped pens he grabbed the scarf and pulled it out. Soft to the touch and a nice shade of blue. Not really one shade more like a blend of different types of blue. It was an interesting color and kind of addicting to look at. Bring it to his nose he caught a whiff of cologne and something else entirely that set his pulse racing. The bell rang loudly down the hall and brought him back to reality. Flushing red, he stuffed the scarf into his bag and slammed the locker closed. Not caring about the loud bang, just wanting to get as far away from the locker as he possibly could. Puck walked down the hall and around the corner without looking back.

Puck remembered getting home later that day and dumping his bag onto the floor , contents spilling out everywhere, still flushed and his heart racing a mile a minute. Puck told himself he didn't care where the scarf landed but his eyes betrayed him as they strayed over to the scarf every time he walked into his room. Eventually he did forget about the scarf and somehow it managed to find it's way under his desk. Slowly he brought the scarf to his nose. The cologne had faded but there was still a whiff of something that had Puck's stomach clenching.

Then no matter how hard he tried, _those _thoughts fought their way to the surface. It's like Kurt's damn scarf unlocked something that shouldn't have been unlocked. He had an urge to grab the lighter on his desk and go to the backyard and burn the thing but he couldn't. It was Kurt's and somehow the thought of burning it made him clutch it even tighter in his hands.

He wasn't sure when but somehow he went from wanting to dumpster tossing Kurt to becoming friends and he wasn't sure who to blame for that. Maybe Kurt and his unhealthy obsession with hot milk which led to midnight hot milk-escapades in the Hudmel kitchen, or maybe he should blame himself and his stubbornness that caused them to spend hours yelling at each other over who between Severus Snape or Sirius Black would have been a better headmaster before finally conceding that they'd never know anyway or maybe it was all the weekends they spent sitting on Kurt's couch watching Grey's Anatomy and Walking Dead. Somewhere though in between pranking Finn and laughing with Kurt over ridiculous Harry Potter innuendos they became friends.

Surprisingly it was after Kurt left that Puck got to see the Kurt Hummel underneath the attitude and clothes. Puck guessed that people really didn't know what they were missing until it was gone (and ouch didn't that bring on a whole bunch of other thoughts that he didn't want to think about). Between the rightness of Kurt finally coming back to McKinley where he belonged, hanging out with Finn and Kurt during the summer between junior and senior year, the mess named "Lauren, Shelby and Quinn", Puck had enough on his mind that he could easily ignore the thoughts that plagued him at random parts of the day like "Kurt's hair looks nice without gel" or "Damn, how does Kurt get into those jeans?" and the way he mentally categorized each of Kurt's expressions until he knew them better than his own.

None of all this mess really registered until last week when Kurt ended things with the Hobbit. It was a Saturday like any other, he was over at the Hudmels house to kill some time and hang out with his boys (or more like _his boy _his mind supplied) and instead of heading into Finn's room, he'd ended up in the room further down the hall laying on Kurt's expensive sheets and listening as Kurt paced up and down the room, face flushed as his arms flailed dramatically in the air and ranted about what a loser the Hobbit was ("He's not a Hobbit Noah, he's barely a few inches shorter than I am" "That gelled thing on his head doesn't count"). Of course like the awesome friend he was he grunted and nodded when Kurt asked for a confirmation and called the Hobbit all kinds of names just to make Kurt give him a small smile, dimples and all, that didn't make him want to grin like a fool.

Even though he's an awesome friend he couldn't help it when Kurt's words started to melt together and Puck became more occupied with the thought "Kurt's single!" that kept running through his mind. So you can't really blame him when he didn't notice that Kurt had stopped talking. It took Puck a few minutes to realize something was wrong. When his eyes refocused and looked up, Kurt's wide blue eyes were staring right back. What had he said? Puck arched an eyebrow as Kurt continued to gape at him, mouthing opening and closing as strangled sounds tried to claw there way out at the same time. Like Kurt had to many words that wanted to be said at the same time. It was the steadily rising flush spreading from underneath the black shirt Kurt wore up his neck and towards his face that made Puck think that maybe Puck should've been paying more attention to the conversation. Taking a mental rewind on the last few minutes Puck tried to remember what had been said.

"-And then he said that I wasn't invested in the relationship! Me!" Kurt said as he picked a magazine and squeezed it in his hands.

"Uh-huh" Puck grunted back, eyes unfocused.

"Can you believe that? I wasn't the one making eyes and getting coffee with that-that-that meerkat!" Kurt nearly shouted as his voice drifted higher and higher with every syllable, brandishing the magazine still in his hand like a weapon. Puck couldn't help but think that Kurt could definitely hit that High F without any practice.

"And then-"

"Babe," Puck suddenly spoke cutting Kurt off mid rant, "he doesn't deserve you anyway."

Oh. That would explain it.

"Noah," Kurt finally spoke voice slightly strangled, "did you just-?"

"Kurt-" That was as far as Puck got when Finn appeared at Kurt's door.

"Hey man, I didn't know you were here. Wanna play Rock Band? Artie, Mike and Sam are on their way over" Sending a silent thanks to Carole for having Finn and thanking god for Finn's timing and obliviousness, Puck took the out and nodded. Then Finn noticed in exactly whose room they were in. "Oh hey Kurt, wanna come play too?" Finn grinned.

"N-no thanks Finn" Kurt said in that same strangled voice, eyes never leaving Puck's. "I think I'm just gonna stay here for a little while."

Finn shrugged and turned away heading for the stairs and Puck made to follow but as he got up from the bed and turned to leave a warm hand grabbed his wrist. Puck's eyes immediately moved to the pale hand gripping his tanned wrist firmly. His eyes followed the path that led from pale hand to an equally pale wrist before going up a shirt clad arm onto thin shoulders across tempting collarbones and an even more tempting neck to finally rest on Kurt's face. Two pink spots on his cheeks and blue-green eyes filled with something Puck wasn't sure he understood.

"Noah I-"

"Listen Kurt-"

"Dude are you coming?" Damn Finn and his damn timing.

"Yeah I'm coming" Puck answered back as Kurt released his wrist. Sparing one last glance back, Puck left. The whole way down the hall and down the stairs into the living room, Puck kept cursing himself. A part of him wanted to rush back up there and talk to Kurt. Say anything from "I'm sorry I'm such a screw up" (all though he's not sure what he's sorry for, he just knows he is) to "I was kidding, just forget what I said" (Puck didn't think he could ever forget). The one that puzzled him the most was the urge to say "Of course he doesn't deserve you Kurt and I know I don't either but I'll try to earn the right. Just give me a chance" when Kurt looked at him with those eyes. That last thought led to Puck virtually avoiding Kurt for a week.

So maybe cleaning his room had nothing to do with what he thought and more to do with Kurt. Like he was cleansing his past and leaving behind who he had become in the last year. No longer a fuck up who screwed everyone and their mom but a guy trying to graduate high school who didn't give a damn about reputation and actually went to all his classes. A guy who had to take a verbal beating from a guy in a wheelchair and a guy with too many clothes to finally realize that he could do something with his life and he didn't have to be whatever everyone thought he would be. A guy that could make his daughter proud of the man he's become. A guy who should man up and be proud of the person he fell in love with.

He's in love with Kurt?

Wow didn't that answer a bunch of questions and at the same time just create a shit load more. What was he going to do now? Was he really in love with Kurt? When the fuck did that happen? Wait, was he gay now? His head began to spin with all the questions running rampant and the only person he could talk to was the person he was trying to avoid. Puck ran hand over his shaved head. What was he going to do now?

_'You should sing to him, Noah!'_ The voice in his head that sounded a lot like Berry suggested. Fucking Berry. Of course even in his own mind she would obviously suggest that he sing his feelings out but the Hobbit already sang to Kurt and if Puck was really serious about getting together with Kurt then he sure as hell wasn't going to copy the Hobbit. Wait, did he want to get with Kurt? His eyes widened at that. As the thought planted itself and grew, he couldn't help but seriously like the idea. Seriously (shut up Grey!). Sure he'd never gone out with a guy before, hell he didn't even know if he liked guys, and Puck was pretty sure that he would suck at this because if he couldn't figure out how to be a good boyfriend with chicks then he sure as hell wouldn't know how to be a good boyfriend with a dude but that's the thing though this is Kurt that Puck was talking about. Kurt, who was just as high maintenanced as other girls, who liked musicals, had a sharp tongue and wit to match but a little voice reminded Puck this is also the same Kurt who has finally learned to loosen his control and have fun. Who can fix cars and doesn't mind getting grease under his manicured nails. Who looks adorable all rumpled and sleepy before taking his morning cup of coffee. Kurt, is the one person that made him feel like he wasn't a Lima Loser.

Pulse racing and mind set, he grabbed his keys and wallet from his desk and stuffed them into his pockets. Scarf still tightly clutched in his hand he raced down the stairs and stuffed his feet into his worn out cons and called out to his mom. His heart thudded loudly as he left the house and set out down the street towards Kurt's house.

Sure he was still a recovering fuck up and he had moments where he couldn't actually believe that he could become something that didn't involve him winding up in prison by 2030. There were also days where he couldn't actually believe that he was heading to college and that the main reason why he hadn't told his mom about any of his post grad plans was because even out loud it sounded too good to be true. Puck knew all this and more but somehow Kurt had managed to talk Puck time and time again into not giving up. Kurt had been there every time he fell, catching him and putting him back on track. Kurt knew everything about Puck, was there for most of it, and yet he stayed. Wormed his way into becoming one of the most important people in Puck's life. It was for these reasons that he hesitated out side of Kurt's house. Puck looked up at the white house. The lights were on and noise filtered out of the open windows. Puck could turn back now and try to forget everything he felt. Spend the next few years wondering what if. Could not fuck up the only thing in his life that was still pure. Kurt would never know.

Then he remembered last Saturday. The way Kurt looked at Puck, and Puck knew that he wouldn't be able to forget. Wouldn't be able to watch as Kurt finally met the right guy that could give him the world and more. The thought alone killed him. No. For once in his life Puck was going to man up. Puck may not deserve Kurt but by the look in Kurt's eyes maybe he was willing to give Puck a chance. Puck's body tensed as he walked up the pathway and up the porch.

Time to nut up or shut up, Puckerman.

Taking one last breath he rang the bell and waited for the door to open. The breath whooshed out of him as the door opened and Finn's confused face appeared. Eyebrows furrowed, Finn's mouth opened when they heard Mr. H calling from the living room.

"Finn, who is that?"

"It's just Puck." With a still confused look Finn motioned with his head toward the inside of the house. Puck gratefully slipped past Finn and inside as he shut the door. His body was high strung and full of nervous energy as he chucked off his cons onto the pile of shoes by the door landing on top of Finns gigantor sized shoes. Puck followed Finn past the living room giving a small and painfully awkward smile to Mr. H and in return received an arched eyebrow and a look exactly like the ones Kurt gave him when he thought he was acting weirdly. Well no shit.

"So what are you doing here dude?" Finn finally asked as they climbed up the stairs. "Not that it's not cool that you're over or anything"

"I'm here to talk to Kurt"

Finn's hand landed on his chest stopping further movement. They looked at each other as Finn studied him and for some reason that was unnerving Puck. Puck was about to ask him what the hell his deal was when Finn finally flashed him a grin and dropped his hand. To say that those last few seconds were weird was an understatement. With a pat on the shoulder from Finn that kind of turned into a not so gentle shove towards Kurt's door, Finn went to his room leaving Puck to stare at Kurt's closed door. Puck closed his eyes and knocked on the door.

"It's open"

Puck took one more second to pull some courage from somewhere, opened his eyes and then opened the door. Kurt was sitting cross legged on his bed with a magazine laid out on his lap as he highlighted things. Brown hair mused from running his fingers through the usually tamed hair. He looked adorable and really _hot_ in comfortable looking sweats and wife beater that he would never be caught dead wearing outside of the house. That alone managed to relax his muscles and slip a small smile onto his face.

"Hey"

"Noah" Kurt's head immediately whipped up, highlighter falling from surprised fingers and onto the carpet. His eyes widened as his face clearly showed his surprise. After several seconds though his eyebrows furrowed and his face took on a look of confusion. "I-is that my scarf?" Kurt asked, head tilted slightly to the side.

Fuck. This was gonna be long.

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><p><strong>Author Notes<strong>: I'm trying to get back into writing so I've decided to write a one shot or drabble every day of this week. I've been in love with a Puckurt series called "The Story of Three Boys", it's amusing and amazing and all kinds of different things and I can't help but say that I was very inspired by them to write this. So thanks to Raving_Liberal and Patchfire for their amazing work.

So I hope you liked this and it would be lovely if you could leave some reviews. Thanks!

**AN2**: I said this was a one shot but I may decide to continue this story this week, maybe from Kurt's POV or Puck's, and finish it.


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